


in his magic sleigh

by AntarcticBird



Category: Glee
Genre: Awful Puns, M/M, Roleplay, holiday themed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 14:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8849254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntarcticBird/pseuds/AntarcticBird
Summary: Kurt's a naughty elf. Blaine is a sexy Santa. Things happen.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whatstheproblembaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatstheproblembaby/gifts), [notarelationship (justpracticing)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpracticing/gifts).



> Inspired by (though maybe not following exactly) [this prompt](http://prompt-a-klainefic.tumblr.com/post/154423071250/im-so-sorry-but-the-kurt-elf-and-blaine-shirtless): "I'm so sorry but the Kurt elf and Blaine shirtless Santa pics are eveywhere, so: Kurt is a naughty, naughty elf and Blaine is an assistant Santa. Kurt tries to get Blaine to bend him over a sleigh or do it under a Christmas tree, and Blaine is reluctant first and then very inclined to agree (can be real or roleplay)."
> 
> I apologise for the awful puns. Please still like me after this?

It’s the perfect job, Blaine thinks: mostly on weekends, pretty much always at night so it doesn’t interfere with his college classes, and also, honestly? It just sounds like a lot of fun.

It’s a catering service, specializing in theme parties — so far he’s done a few kids’ birthday parties where they’d all dressed up as Cartoon characters or superheroes, a 50s theme party, a hockey-themed college party, two Halloween office parties and, the most memorable, a Toga party.

With the start of the holiday season he’d expected to work his first Christmas party soon, but he hadn’t really expected this — a private party on an entire floor of connected lofts, with a Sexy Santa theme.

Not that he has a problem with it; it sounds interesting enough. It’s just that he’d expected more caroling, less being shirtless with low-hanging red pants and a Santa hat. At least they’d allowed him suspenders. Which doesn’t really make him feel any less half-naked, but he can do this. He may even be looking forward to it a little, if he’s being honest — it’s definitely something new. And new is good. He likes new.

He knows most of his coworkers by now — it’s a big company, but after half a year of parties he’s worked with most of them at least once or twice.

“Blaine,” Evan calls out, dressed in a matching shirtless Santa outfit, waving at him from across the room as Blaine arrives to help setting up the tables. He knows he’s late, but it’s not his fault, and fortunately his boss had been understanding enough as long as he’d promised to hurry over here after class. There’s simply no way to skip Composition and get away with it.

“Hi,” Blaine calls back, walking over to greet Evan with a one-armed hug. They’ve worked together a lot, and he almost thinks of them as friends at this point.

“Oh, hello there,” a voice speaks up just to his left, and he turns his head to reply just when Evan beats him to it.

“Oh, hey, Kurt.” Evan sounds delighted. “Great, we can start introductions! That’s Blaine,” he says, nodding at Blaine. “Blaine, this is Kurt. It’s his first night on the job.”

Blaine is about to tell Evan that they know each other quite well, that they’ve been dating since high school and are, in fact, engaged, but Kurt is quicker. “Blaine, huh? I like that name. Nice to meet you.” 

Kurt is wearing the tightest elf costume possible, and his blue eyes are fixed on Blaine, an amused little smirk on his face. 

Blaine almost wishes they could have seen each other before leaving for work today, because now he’s just standing there feeling entirely unprepared for this. He knows he’s probably gaping like an idiot, but he just can’t help it. And he just really, really wishes he could have had a preview of this at home in a more private setting. Stupid, stupid class schedule that had forced him to arrive late and change outside in the company van.

Blaine extends a hand, not quite sure what’s happening right now. “Hi, Kurt.” 

He must look confused, because Kurt takes his hand and looks him directly in the eyes as he holds on just a second too long. “I like your hat,” he says.

“Um,” Blaine manages, trying his best to wrap his head around this . . . rather interesting situation. It’s a bad idea, he knows that. It’s a really bad idea. A really, really very bad idea, and this will be seriously awkward if anyone finds out, and what if they get in trouble, he has no idea if you even _can_ get in trouble for pretending to not know your fiancé who’s also your coworker, and they shouldn’t, they really shouldn’t . . . But at the same time it’s . . . strangely exciting. “I like your . . . pants,” he says, then mentally kicks himself. Way to be suggestive in front of an almost-friend who still thinks they’re strangers.

Kurt nods appreciatively. “I’m sure we’ll get along splendidly, Blaine.”

Blaine feels himself almost blushing under Kurt’s stare — it’s not unpleasant, though. And it’s not like he isn’t staring back. Much.

“We should start setting up,” Evan interrupts their mutual not-staring, and Kurt takes half a step back, but not without giving Blaine another little grin, blinking up at him from under his lashes.

“Yes,” he says. “I suppose there are much more pleasant ways to end up on the naughty list.”

Blaine shakes his head at him, mouths _What are you doing?_

Kurt gives him a little shrug, that sparkling and slightly evil little gleam in his eyes that he always gets when things are about to get dirty. _Having fun_ he mouths back at him.

“Okay,” is all Blaine gets out as Kurt turns just a tad too slowly, keeping his eyes on Blaine so that he’s looking at him over his shoulder, flutters his lashes. And then walks away with his head held high and his shoulders straight as if he can see the way Blaine is still staring after him.

It takes Blaine a moment to shake himself out of his slightly lust-induced haze and hurry after his colleagues to actually do his job. Which he still has to do while apparently also playing some sort of interesting, possibly very dirty game with his fiancé.

Spontaneous public Santa/elf roleplay _at a work event_. Oh god. They’re so, so screwed if anyone ever finds out.

He thinks he should probably care more about that than he actually does.

**

They’re almost done setting up when he notices Kurt next to him again, arranging some of the incredibly tacky Christmas decorations around a plate of sandwiches.

“Evan says the guy organising this thing is some sort of boss person at an accounting form,” Blaine says with a grin. “I had no idea accountants were into Sexy Santas.”

Kurt laughs. “Well, at least, they’ll get exactly what they ordered,” he replies, throwing Blaine an almost shy grin back.

Blaine can’t stop himself from blushing this time. “Uh -”

“No, really,” Kurt says, leaning one hip against the table, his grin sliding into a perfectly innocent smile. “You’re a very convincing Santa. You could make me sit on your lap any day. I think I’d like that a lot.”

Blaine opens his mouth, doesn’t quite know what to say, and before he has time to even react Kurt is walking away again.

**

The next time it happens the rooms are already filling up and Blaine has just picked up a fresh tray of drinks for the partygoers when Kurt is suddenly right there beside him.

“Oh, hi again,” Blaine says.

Kurt gives him a little wave, waiting for his own drinks tray. “Looks like it’s gonna be a busy night.”

“Yeah,” Blaine says. “At least the music is fun.”

Kurt scrunches up his nose adorably. “Big fan of _Jingle Bells_ , huh?”

Blaine is confused for only a moment before he remembers that they’re supposed to be strangers and Kurt is not supposed to know these things about him. Apparently their little game is still going on. He laughs. “Yeah, well, I mean -”

“Oh no, I get it.” Kurt laughs with him, then hesitates for a moment. “And let me know if you want your bells jingled later. I’m sure we could make it a not so silent night.” He grimaces. “Sorry. Even I heard how horrible that was.”

“Oh, no.” Blaine can’t help but grin at him. “You got the point across nicely.”

Kurt’s cheeks look a little red, but his teasing smile is back. He’s . . . sort of adorable. On top of being kind of the sexiest sight Blaine has ever seen in his entire life.

The party is in full swing when he runs into Kurt again on a quick bathroom break — he’s just walking out when Kurt is about to go in and they almost collide just outside the door.

“And we meet again,” Kurt says.

“It seems to keep happening to us,” Blaine confirms.

There aren’t even any onlookers, but Kurt seems determined to see this through all the way. “We could just make it a _standing_ invitation, if you know what I mean” he says, running a fingertip down Blaine’s chest. “You can come down my chimney any time.”

“What -”

“I mean, I’ll definitely let you in the backdoor if that’s what you want. And we can certainly find something for you to hang a mistletoe on.”

Blaine rolls his eyes at him. “You’re awful, you know that?”

Kurt bites his lip and lowers his head, looking up at him almost coyly. “Maybe I’m just trying really hard to get on your naughty list. What would you do with me if I were? Think you can turn me into a good little elf with the right punishment?”

Before Blaine can respond, someone walks out of the bathroom behind them and the moment is broken.

But even as he does his best to get his mind back to the work he has to do, he can’t deny the way his eyes keep seeking Kurt out in the crowd. He’s never really been into this sort of thing, but . . . well. New things. He likes new things. And it’s fun. Even more so because he knows what a horrible, horrible, awful idea it is, and that doesn’t even make sense, but he simply doesn’t want to stop. Not when they’re just getting started. He’s kind of curious to see how far Kurt is actually going to take this.

**

He’s collecting some empty champagne glasses from a windowsill when Kurt finds him again, leaning back against the wall to watch him. He’s carrying a tray of mini quiches. He can make even that look sexy. But then, he makes it look sexy when he’s drooling on Blaine’s pajama shirt at night.

“You know elves even have toys for adults?” he asks.

Blaine looks up at him with an eyebrow raised. “Oh?”

Kurt nods. “Absolutely. And the best ones don’t even run on batteries.” He tilts his head at Blaine looking smug.

“Will they fit in a stocking?” Blaine asks innocently, doing his best to keep up.

Kurt leans forward a little, lowering his voice to a seductive, low volume. “Honey, if you’re good, my stocking won’t be the only thing you get to stuff tonight.” And with that he pushes off the wall to walk away once again.

Blaine bites back a laugh and tries very hard to ignore the tiny spark of arousal stirring deep inside — this is neither the time nor the place. Still, he can’t keep from looking after Kurt just for the sight of his butt in those tight, ridiculous, red and green striped leggings. He doesn’t understand how someone so illegally hot, someone using the most sleazy pick up lines imaginable, can be so fucking adorable at the same time.

**

It’s about half an hour later when Kurt sneaks up behind him, leaning close to whisper in his ear, “By the way, if you want to show me your sleigh later I’d love for you to teach me how to ride it.”

Blaine swallows heavily and feels hot all over — more at the feeling of Kurt’s breath against his ear than the awful line. “You just want me to show you my North pole,” he says, in a lame attempt to be funny. “But I have to warn you. It’s bigger than you might expect.”

“Oh,” Kurt says. “So does that mean that’s not a candy cane in your pocket? I was hoping for something to suck on.”

Blaine almost chokes on his own breath, and can feel his “North pole” showing definite signs of interest down there again, stronger than before. Which is still really not a good idea with those pants he’s wearing. “Um,” he manages.

“Don’t worry,” Kurt says softly, placing a warm hand on the naked skin of Blaine’s back. “I’m an elf. Santa’s little helper. I’m sure I can find a way to help you later. You know. Give you a hand with emptying that bulging sack.”

He really has no choice but take another bathroom break after this and splash his face with cold water until he’s composed enough to go back to work.

**

The party is winding down and they’ve started packing up when he meets Kurt outside by the van, just putting away a heavy looking box. Blaine really appreciates the way his biceps look in those form-fitting sleeves and the way his pants stretch over his ass and thighs as he bends forward to push the box farther into the back of the car.

Kurt notices him as he straightens back up and smiles in a completely non-suggestive way for once, which honestly affects Blaine even more than all the awful flirting he’d done all night. Kurt takes the box from him and puts it away, then looks around as if to make sure no one else is there to hear. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Blaine says. “That was over much earlier than I’d feared. Not even midnight. We might actually get some sleep tonight.”

Kurt’s dirty grin is back immediately and he reaches out to snap one of Blaine’s suspenders. “That’s one option,” he says.

“What’s the other?”

“You finally show me the back of that sleigh,” Kurt says. “And maybe I’ll spread for some Christmas cheer.”

Blaine laughs out loud as Kurt winces. “Please tell me you didn’t just say that.”

“Sorry,” Kurt says, blushing furiously. “I may have overdone it a little. Thanks for playing along all night, by the way.” His laugh is small and embarrassed and Blaine can’t stand how beautiful he is.

“Don’t worry,” he says quickly. “I liked it.”

Kurt lifts his head to look at him, his smile a little lopsided. “So . . . I don’t suppose you actually want to pay me back for entertaining you all night?”

Blaine grins. “You mean, I’ll actually get to see _Santa’s little helper_?”

Kurt looks offended. “Hey! It’s not little!”

He holds up both hands. “Oh believe me, I know.”

“Good.” Kurt crosses his arms in front of his chest. “As long as we’re clear on that.”

“So, what would you say -” Blaine reaches forward to tug on Kurt’s collar, “about just finishing up here, and then we go and, um, rock around the Christmas tree?”

Kurt snorts. “Under the Christmas tree, maybe.”

“I can work with that.”

**

They’re awkwardly draped over each other, half on and half off the couch, one of Kurt’s feet up on the coffee table. Their (fortunately empty) Santa cookie platter has been knocked to the floor, as well as a large box of Christmas decorations which are now scattered all across the carpet. Kurt has tinsel in his hair, and Blaine is pretty sure he has a reindeer sticker on his ass — he’s not quite sure anymore how any of this happened but his entire body is feeling very happy with him right now, so he doesn’t really care.

 

“Well,” Kurt says, still breathless, carding his fingers through Blaine’s hair. “At least now we know why Santa always lands on the roof.”

Blaine lifts himself up a little, unsticking their sweaty skin, and shakes his head frantically. “Oh no. No. Don’t say it.”

“He likes to be on top.” Kurt’s lips twitch with a barely held back smile and Blaine pokes him in the ribs.

“Don’t even -”

“Sorry, I had to. It’s kind of difficult to stop once you get going.”

Blaine laughs, then collapses back onto Kurt. “Ugh,” he says. “Shower? We’re filthy.”

“Yes, well -”

“Kurt, no -”

“It could be so much worse, though. At least you wrapped your package before you shoved it down the chimney.”

“You’re horrible,” Blaine tells him, pressing a kiss to his naked shoulder. “You’re awful and ridiculous and I can’t even believe I have spent all these years doing nothing but love you -”

“At least I always make sure that Santa doesn’t only come once a year,” Kurt interrupts, and then shrieks when Blaine rolls them off the couch and onto the carpet, tickling him mercilessly. “No, stop, stop, I swear I’ll be so good from now on -”

Blaine silences him with a kiss, which is off center and messy and short because they’re both laughing too hard. 

“Oh god, I love you so much,” he gets out once he regains his breath, resting their foreheads together.

“I love you too,” Kurt says. “But I think I have a candy cane stuck to my back.”

“Shower?” Blaine asks again.

Kurt sighs. “Yes, please.”

“It’s really too bad we had to return those costumes,” Blaine says a little mournfully.

Kurt smirks at him. “You liked them, huh?”

Blaine kisses his nose. “Nah. I just like you. Whatever you wear.”

“I’ll get some candy striped leggings if you promise to wear a Santa hat every time we have sex for the rest of the month.”

“I don’t know why I ever agreed to marry you.”

“Honey, you were the one who asked!”

Blaine knows his grin is dopey, but he can’t help it. “Yeah, and I meant it.”

“So did I.”

He lets Kurt pull him in for another kiss, then starts getting up off the floor so they can head for the shower. Kurt stops him by grabbing onto his ankle so he can peel the reindeer sticker off Blaine’s left buttcheek before taking his hand to let himself be pulled to his feet.

Blaine smiles at him and plucks the tinsel from his hair.

“Best holiday season ever,” he says.

The way Kurt pinches his butt after kissing the corner of his eyebrow seems a lot like he agrees.


End file.
